A couple months ago as I was going through some girl drama I realized that the particular girl I was interested in was acting very much like a wave. Sometimes she would show a lot of interest, and other times she would be very cold. Riding this wave made me sea-sick, and at one particular low I had a profound realization. Basing one's happiness on waves is a false happiness.
I went to my large whiteboard that I have in my kitchen and wrote down all of the waves in my life. This including money, power, popularity, and in that case, girls. ( which offended my roommate ) so for his sake and other's I write this disclaimer: the term girls represented my experience of basing happiness off of the conditional love that I was receiving from this girl. Girls are great! It's creating a need/dependent relationship on them that isn't healthy for either side..
Which brings me to my realization. I was basing my happiness on how this girl treated me, which was wave like, but how I treated her was in my control, which meant it could be constant, like a rock.
I decided then and there to base my happiness only on rocks. Constants. This does not mean that there isn't happiness in waves, honestly when you are on top it feels great! But the downside is that the wave will ultimately, at some point, fall.
When climbing rocks, on the other hand, the higher you get, the better the view. And the altitude you get you keep.
It's simply a matter of choosing which form of happiness one will pursue, one that rises but then disappears, or one that lasts. I prefer those that last.
Service
On the other side of my whiteboard I wrote down a list of constants. How I choose to act is something that I will always have control over, regardless of what opportunities are available to me. Since choosing to serve others brings me happiness, and increases how I value myself, I knew that it is something I could depend on, a staple for happiness.
Service for the sake of improving oneself, and not for the sake of recognition or compensation, can be quite an adjustment form the pursuit of momentary happiness that is obtained from waves. Waves and rocks are very different in nature, but after one has made the switch they quickly find out that it is a much more gratifying and lasting happiness.
Considering this, I invite you to serve others, not for the sake of how those you serve will react, but for how you will feel about yourself.
1 comment:
Oooh this is so good! It was just what I needed to read this morning. A lot of times I base my happiness on how others treat me or my level of productivity, and I have to fight to remember that, as Elder Maxwell said, "Our individual worth is already divinely established as 'great'; it does not fluctuate like the stock market." Thanks for the good reminder!
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